Silence, Catharsis and Healing Sentences

During a constellation, there is always at least one healing sentence that catches both of us by surprise. These are the sentences that will be remembered the most by the clients. As a client, you have to carry these close to your heart for a while after our meeting. Sometimes these sentences resonate in me too, they reappear in my mind days, weeks, sometimes even months later. In general, we love constellations exactly for these sentences, they are the healing, resolving focal points of the therapy. The currents of the past arrive in one focus point, here and now, and then take a new direction (the future). And in order for these sentences to appear, we both have to slow down, and to stop. In order to hear the secrets and whispers of life, we must first be quiet. You have to drink deeply from silence. 

Sometimes the healing sentence is cathartic, it has effect immediately (crying out, big laughter, etc.), other times it is quiet and gentle, and sometimes it arrives in you only months later. This is how I ended up recently, for example, with my own constellation that took place 3 months ago. 

The soul is slow, the ego is in a hurry. The soul that moves slowly or is relaxed and stops will show us the direction freely - however, the ego wants to quickly solve and grasp it. He wants "fast closure", tolet go" ASAP and move on. 

These healing sentences are seeds that we plant during the constellation. It is up to the client whether to water or take care of them afterwards, where to grow them, how to love them. It takes patience, time and gentleness. To ripen. Letting things work themselves out a bit. 

The soul is slow, the ego is in a hurry. That is, he would be in a hurry if I’d let him. During the opening conversation, I often have only one thing to do: to stop the client. To slow him down until he stops and a short circuit of the discursive mind happens. Which in turn creates silence. And that is when we can truly start the work. In both constellations and astrology, we are connecting to something much greater than ourselves. 

Silence is a panacea. The shared silence is even more so. Everything comes from silence. And it returns there. Just like the healing sentences. 

Silence is the basis of everything. All sound originates from and then returns to silence, just as all movement begins and returns to stillness. As all existence is born from non-existence, and then it returns into non-existence. Just as life is born from death, and then it returns to death. (Hellinger) 

More and more often I say that silence is actually my work. The basis and purpose of everything there is. The inner silence that is touched or attained during a successful constellation process. Or that ordinarily special silence-miracle, which we experience during and after the group meditation sessions, and only those who have experienced it know what I’m talking about. 

Silence (and noise) is a heavy topic, both on an individual and collective level, and despite appearances, the biggest taboo. The (main) blind spot of the entire humanity and history, and it is very difficult to talk about it with anyone. You can and have to talk about everything else - silence on the other hand is the outcast, ostracized stepchild. The outcast part of us that is at the basis of everything. Silence and what comes out from it when you truly let go, when you slow down, when you stop: attention, mindfulness, presence. Without which the seeds mentioned above cannot germinate. 


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"Love means accepting reality as it is." Wilfried Nelles 


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