The Living Room Auschwitz
How do you cope with so many difficult life stories? I guess people tell you all sorts of things... The client asks, while pulling on her shoes, after the individual constellation, on his way out. I maintain myself, I answer, almost without thinking. But the truth is that there is more to it than that.
Yes, sometimes, after seeing some heavy fate stories, I have to take a really long walk outside, marveling at the sustaining and grounding power of the earth and trees, until I come back to my center. But I do it with great joy, it's my job, it's always been that way.
Would you be willing to talk to my dying mother if necessary? A childhood friend asks, while we’re having a coffee together. Yes, if she wants to talk about really serious things. I'm not good at small talk. Unfortunately. I'm only interested in really serious, deep things and I can only comment on those. I have always been interested only in this aspect of life. When I was a child, one of my brothers constantly told me that you are serious like appendicitis. :D
Now that I'm slowly but surely turning fifty, I can admit it without a problem: I won't sacrifice who I am for what my environment is used to. That's why I was and am an outsider. The ever-present outsider archetype. Crossing borders, opening secret doors of the heart, seeing and hearing clearly. A caste, for which we have no word in Western culture. I'll try to fix a tap for a week or so before I give up and call a mechanic - but I can always look at your difficult human stories without any problem. Helping with love and from the strength of the heart. This is how I function, we will get to the bottom line very quickly with everyone. It almost doesn't matter if we're at a constellation, in the elevator, or on a date.
When I was a child, in the old communist days of my birth town, a book about Auschwitz was the horror movie for me. Those pictures, as I secretly flipped through them as a child, were burned into my mind forever. It was an initiation into certain depths of human reality - just like the pornographic magazines, a bit later in time. Today, we watch horror and porn just like we consume the news: it tastes good for a few minutes, I chew it, then I spit it out and byebye.
Everything that no one talks about gets here, in this living room. Because there is not with whom and where and when and how and why. No one talks about the really important things. In the sacred space of the LIP constellations, we can have a look at everything, really everything - with love. And we don't let go of the past, we outgrow it, eventually. And so everything appears in this magical glass bead game space of the constellations, simply because it can appear. Those things that are really difficult for us, in our lives.
The mother who is consumed by her digestion issues and her teenage son, whose father is not who everybody thinks he is. The brothers and sisters who appear out of nowhere, that no one knew about until now. The psychologist who has never opened up, not even in a therapeutic situation. A 30-something alternative therapist who hates his parents. The 40-year-old woman who was been raped by a neighbor as a child, but never told anyone. The hero lover who is actually gay and can't relate at all to it. The young mother who has been fighting for years to get pregnant, and now that the baby is here, she hates all of it. Grandparents who died in the gas chamber, whose story left its mark on the whole family. The man in a CEO position, who doesn't have any erection. The local politician, in whom nothing softens the aggression and would explode at any moment, on the way to a heart attack. The woman who surrenders herself to the sexual aggressor in exchange for housing. The 40-year-old man who faces his fear before starting his own business. The woman in her fifties who lulls herself to sleep next to the man who is cheating on her, over and over again. The Jew, who is ostracized by his environment because he is a Jew, and by his family because he did not marry within his religion. A 60-year-old woman who suddenly is woken up by a fatal diagnosis and suddenly begins to live. And so on. With love. We have a look at all these heavy stories with love.
And that sometime means that we laugh and cry right in the middle of the death camp (Lusseyran), in the living room, in the oasis of this safe intimacy of the constellation (Hermut Rosa). That is the magic of constellations.
Our child and adolescent parts sacrifice everything and everyone on the altar of avoidance. Sometimes our adult part realizes the price of this only at the moment of our death, when it is too late. I often say this to my clients over 40 and 50, what a blessing that you woke up now and not at the very last moment: you have your whole life ahead of you, the rest of your life. What are you going to do with it? What once served your survival may be hindering your life today. Look at that with love. We don't let go of the past, we outgrow it.
So, if you don't want to wait until that very last moment, I look forward to your individual constellation, both online and offline. 🙏 ✨ ❤️
"Love means accepting reality as it is." Wilfried Nelles
